An epic adventure, and an epic "woopsee"

I'm not a fan of Hookah bars. However, when a friend of mine wanted to go for her birthday, I swallowed my hatred and happily went along with the plan.

The plan was to pile into cars, and caravan down to Springfield to a hookah bar someone located on Myspace. The description also mentioned Oxygen bar, and Gentleman's club, but for some reason we didn't catch the Gent Club red flag.

After an hour drive, an emergency stop at a sketchy burger joint, and some frantic efforts to save the lost, we arrived. Silhouettes. There it was. The holy grail of sketchy strip joints, complete with no legal parking next to it. We piled out, and parade on in, with the two guys in our group being cheered on (they were with 8 girls, after all).

We walked in, and to our surprise, it is DEFINITELY not a Hookah bar. There is a hookah. A. Singular. One. And lots of strippers.

But the best part? The birthday girls were dragged on stage to receive lap dances from 7 strippers. There was a lot of grinding, groping, sucking, biting, and I swear to god motorboating. We came for hookah, and we got motorboating. Wow. What can I say other than wow?

Uh, guys, can we go back for my birthday too?