World News Makes Me Mmmmmm

(this is my unedited news column for the Collegian... they took away my wit, so I had to put it somewhere)

Great Britain

Amongst much controversy and speculation, a new mock documentary originating from England is set to premier this month at the Toronto Film Festival. The 90 minute film “Death of a President" portrays the assassination of President George W. Bush Jr. and the investigation into a Syrian-born man that ensues.

Using a combination of acting, archive footage, computer effects, “Death of a President” sets the President’s final moments in Chicago as the target of a sniper during an anti-war rally in 2007.

Aiming to be a political examination of the effects on American politics after the War on Terror, the film has hit a sore spot for the Republican Party. Describing the film as sick and disturbing, the party has called for the film not to air in America because they can’t believe many will want to see it. However, Americans will probably be all over the film, more so than that trashy first episode of American Idol.

Greenland

Scientists in Greenland have recently released the results of a study in which it was concluded that polar bears genitals are in fact shrinking. According to the National Environmental Research Institute of Denmark, the shrinkage is due to high levels of toxic industrial pollutants accumulating within the blubber of many artic animals, including seals who serve as the main food source for polar bears.

Already having one of the lowest reproductive rates, the decrease in genital size could pose a huge dilemma for the bears by making reproduction less successful. Unfortunately for our furry friends, size does matter this time around.